There Goes The Show

Another year has (almost) come and gone so I thought it would be fitting to attempt to write a long blog post. So here I go:

2009 has been an interesting year, I guess. We have two new members of the family, one two and the other a year and a half old. I was at the hospital for one of them, Jan(i)e Elizabeth.

It was completely and utterly boring. And I was very hungry. But I guess it was worth it to see that weird little pink alien baby with the odd mishapen head just a while after birth. Her skin was soft, although it looked sort of dry and wrinkly. Her fingers were the most wrinkled thing about her, too much skin for such tiny little fingers. She had nothing but a few faint whisps of hair on her alien head and it, too, was soft. The only thing that went through my mind was "Ow. That must've hurt." for a long time at the hospital. It wasn't "Oh, she's so beautiful!" it was 'ow'. It really must have hurt and that took the magic away for a few minutes.

I think at one point I held her hand and her little saggy baby fingers were clasped on one of my fingers. Man did she have a grip even then. She may or may not have opened her eyes once, but they were essentially pitch black and that furthered my notion of her being an alien.

At one point I may have held her but my memory is sketchy so it may not have been at the hospital. The reason for the sketchy-ness was because yeah, it was seriously boring. The waiting room was kind of hot and musty to me so I had gotten a headache and was in a fog. It felt like watered down perfume was the only thing I could smell, taste, and feel. Do you know how heavy that feels in the air? It makes you have to drag your body all over the place just to move one step.

Of course when Tony came out and announced that the baby was born I woke up quite a bit, fueled by adrenaline and the want to see the thing. We waited a few hours I think, but again I can't be sure. I believe I mostly spent it thinking about random nonsensical things or playing puzzles in my mind. If someone talked to me I would talk with them but I think everyones breath was bated with anticipation.

So when Tony came and said we could go in and see, well we went obviously. We had to wash our hands and Grampa may or may not have had to wear a surgical mask considering he was sick at the time. I sat in a chair and apparently wasn't smiling and Tony told me to smile. I still consider that moment a black part of my history and it did indeed anger me so I was in a bit of a bad mood for quite a while after that. I was smiling, if it's any consolation.

Granny, or maybe Mitzi, was holding her and I went and stood cautiosly over whoever-it-was's shoulder. I don't believe I'd ever seen a newborn baby before that. So I looked, and I saw said alien thing with it's eyes closed and hands all balled up in fists. I wasn't really thinking of anything at all, I was just instead looking. I reached down and caressed her face and it was warm, like seriously really hot. And I was cold so...yeah. And she was soft so that made it better. I'd like a blanket that felt like that.

And thus the eventful birth of Janie passed on by in my memory and was lost forever until I just recently dug it up. Like five minutes ago when I started this. But I think that was last year so it didn't actually mean anything for my new years post. Odd how things happen.

I got my glasses this year also, and despite my usage of a watch which will tell me what day, month and year it is incase I get amnesia I don't remember when. This year I went through a lot of changes, and no I don't mean puberty.

I went to the eye doctors with my mom, granny and grampa I think, maybe some other people but I don't know.

I was hoping for a female all the way through but hey, things don't always work out in your favor. We started with waiting. A while. And then we could go. We did the 'can you read those letters' and I tried really hard not to cheat because well, where the projection landed was just a little bit from my chair next to the back of the wall and I could see every letter almost. I really did try.

And then we did the 'what number do you see' and I passed with flying dot-like colors if there is such a thing as passing a test such as that. There was a trick one in there too.

Then the 'hold still while we blow air into your eye as an act of thinly-veiled torture' procedure. I kept flinching and they couldn't take a good picture. It took a few minutes. I'm a very flinchy person. I think that was what that was for.

Then the 'stare at this red dot/picture thing while we take a picture of your eyeball and try to keep your eyelids open but fail because you need to blink and never take a good picture until we try it 215 times so keep still darn it' and exactly as it says I had  to resort to holding my eyelid up. And even then it took a long, long time.

Then, I think, I got to leave and sit down and wait for doctor whoever to do whatever because no one ever actually told me what was going to happen. He sat me down in a chair, or rather I think I sat myself down in the chair, and we made small talk. Chit chat. It's surprisingly easy to talk to random people you don't actually know you know?

So he put the thing with the glass in it and I had to read the letters through different lenses and blah-diddy-blah and we talked while doing it and he made me laugh a few times which is nice because it wasn't forced laughter it was actually funny. He's a nice guy.

So I got to go pick out my glasses and mom was there too, picking and such. I meandered around for a while, trying to catch my bearings while I had again that watery-perfume fog which I so often get. I saw a rack, walked up to it, looked, grabbed one pair, put them on, stuck my face as close to the mirror as possible and proudly proclaimed "I'll take these." and everyone was saying 'are you sure you don't want to look more?' I was like 'yeah I'm sure okay let's go please.' and that's how I got my glasses.

Of course there was a waiting period as always but that wasn't as eventful so yes, skip.

And then, the most appearance altering of all: earrings. Yes, I did it. I went through with it. It was on Cassidy's birthday, no seriously on the day of her birthday, I went to the mall with my mom and we met up with Mitzi to go to Claire's. Which, might I add, isn't so bad of a place even though it's horribly pink and plays annoying music. They used a gun which I was very iffy about since guns are horribly unsanitary. But oh well, it's been quite a while and my ears are perfectly fine so I lucked out. The girl we had was named...Brittany? Maybe. I probably still have a paper or something.

It didn't hurt. I saw in a video a grown man crying because he got his ears pierced the same way I did. Yay for a high pain tolerance I suppose. I had an annoying little fly buzzing around the place but other than that distraction free. How fun.

And then: Christmas, the most changing of all! Even though it was only a few days ago. It still counts.

My wondeful gifts included: All the seasons of the Batman Animated Series, Marvel Ultimate Alliance 1 & 2, The newest Alex Rider book, Lynyrd Skynryd's newest CD: God & Guns, 11 Webkinz, Night at The Museum 2, Monsters vs Aliens, DS Games, an iPod Touch, and a Digital Camera

Happy New Year, folks.

The Psych-ic Is In

I just discovered a truly horrifying thing.
My dad does not like Psych. Excuse me while I go cry in a corner.

Anyhow, I had an absolutely wonderful Christmas and will reveal what I got at a later date when I'm not so lazy.

However I will say that I got Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 1 & 2 for X-Box and it is entirely too addicting. Mom plays it with me and she is always either the Human Torch or the Invisible Woman. I have to have Deadpool though, of course. He teleports, does a shooting attack with his gun, and has swords. All in all I have to say he is the best character in the game considering his attacks do pretty massive damage.

WAIT WHAT ROCKS MOVE

Just a quick update, want to tell you non-existant guys who don't actually read this blog that I'm playing a game called Dwarf Miner. And the rocks, and the gold, MOVE. They seriously ran away. If you want to see this EXTREMELY ODD phenomena for yourself, go ot games2girls.com and click on dwarf miner. It's there somewhere. And why does it move of all things? Honestly this freaked me out. It moves away from your little mining thrower-tool. And also it's not a good thing to go OMGINEEDTOBLOGTHISRITENAO and then just go to another tab and start blogging while the game is still going and then lose.

But on the other hand I ROCK at this game considering I'm playing it over again.
braggitybraggity

RUN FO' YO' LIFE

If you saw me running, you'd probably laugh. Heck, I laugh at me when I run. It's like, HOP HOP HOP stop TROT TROT TROT stop HOP HOP HOP stop FLAIL ARMS RABIDLY stop HOP. It's horrible, I used to be able to run normally but now it's all sort of...distorted.

WHY IS THE WORLD SO CRUEL?

and why exactly do I run so oddly?

In Other News

Pears are bleh. And I mean that in so so many ways. Once I had a pear and I kept eating it until I got so disgusted with it I wanted to puke. So I never ate pears again. Ever.

And thus I dislike pears.

I want to try and do something new with the style of my blog, something artsy. I also need more readers, so I can write these things not just for me but for other people. Anyone out there who cares enough to tell me how to attract readers?

In other news, I have:

• Gone Christmas shopping
• Eaten at Arby's two days in a row. (Yesterday and the day before. Yum.)
• Had hamburgers today. (No buns)
• Taken my medicine. (Still sick and coughing)
• Killed a spider.
• Read my favorite blogs.
• Played with my new Joker action figure I bought at Big Lots.
• Taken pictures of Oliver.
• Printed out pictures with moms mini-printer that is PORTABLE.

SO YES: It has been an entirely un-eventful few days. Can you believe Christmas is coming so soon?

Also, Mentalist is new! CBS: 10 pm, Throwing Fire.

Last night, I was on google watching tweets fly about Chris Henry. It was hilarious at the time but now that he's died the laughter has to stop.
He was cute, I feel sorry for his family.

The Devil You Know

I've still been sick, coughing, sore throat, general ickiness. And also I can't talk, since I can barely hear myself let alone anyone else. Why do I always have to get sick on every visit to granny and grandpa's? Is it some kind of curse? Or am I just extremely unlucky?

I vote curse. I tell ya, I'm pretty sure there are at least three un-mentionable people out there who would like to curse me. Well maybe just two but is that really so much of a different number? No.

I've been writing a completely confusing story that makes completely no sense and is full of descriptions and the only dialogue is one sentence. What? Why? How? I have no idea. I'm writing it and it makes no sense.

On the good side I have more than 1,900 words of confusion. And the most words I've ever written is 5,000 something so don't expect to see me entering NaNoWriMo next year. Because I will fail.

This is extra extra short because I just really wanted to do something called "The devil you know" because I just love that. What a wonderful phrase.


ALSO THE MENTALIST. A PRICE ABOVE RUBIES. Rubies are red, and Red John is too.

Lucky And Yet Not

Why, hello my unknowing alien-hybrid friends. Sorry, I've just been on this big alien kick lately. Interesting stuff.

I'm quite possibly coming down with something, this mysterious something is an illness of some sort. My throat is scratchy, and you know that feeling after you've been sick and your throat feels kind of...numb? That's what this is. It hurts, but only minorly. It's a good thing to have a high pain tolerance sometimes considering I get hurt so often. Thanks to my own clumsiness. Like just an hour or two ago I went in to wet my hair in the bathroom here and as I was, I managed to bang my forehead. And I then had flashbacks to the time when I was little and I jumped off the toilet seat at home and smashed my forehead into the bathtub and started bawling. And wow, that was a long sentence.

Also thanks to this mysterious illness, I am still at granny and grandpa's. Is it swine flu? No wait, they're calling it H1N1. I have been to the store recently. And on the topic of stores, what is with free samples? Anyone could reach in and put rat poison on them or any manner of things. That's why I've resolved to not eat free samples.

For some reason I can write more in less time than when I'm actually writing fiction, because this is sadly not fiction because if it was it would be a best-seller. At least if I added more details and pretty pictures for the illiterate out there. But then if you were illiterate why even bother going to a bookstore anyhow?

Man, I know paragraphs are important and all but sometimes they are just so...ugly and un-attractive which are both the exact same words except one is longer.

The meaning of this blog post title which is more of a not-so-fictional comedy book that isn't very funny is that I am lucky to get to stay more at granny and grandpa's I am also increasingly unlucky to have had so many sick relatives in the past three or two or four weeks. Another long sentence? I'm on a roll here, don't stop me now baby.

I need to be more funny. Is there a counciler for that? Humor council? Regain your humor in ten easy steps? Like weight loss only more hard? Oh, the things google wont disclose. Actually I haven't tried yet but I'm not going to because guess what? I'm lazy and don't actually care so much.

Also I've been thinking of my profession lately, and have decided that my fall back if I don't make it as an Egyptologist or Marine Biologist is to be a masseuse. Cassidy is going to be an orthopedic surgeon and thus, I will work for her and live in her as of yet unconfirmed large house. And I will give he free massages if needed. Although I honest and truly do want to be a masseuse. I say masseuse because masseur is strictly male and no matter how much I would like to fit into that category I don't and therefore I wish to be a masseuse athough masseuse sounds oddly masculine right now. I honestly thought it applied to both sides of the gender wars but now that I googled it I find that no, I'm wrong.

I seriously need to get my creative juices flowing, it's like a drought right now.

Just call me the aspiring massage therapist.